Mrsclaudia’s Kinky Fetish Blog

Just wanted to post what the upcoming releases will be on MrsClaudia.com.

Catching slaveR red handed!!!

In March 2009 there will be an awesome video released where I am a little crueler than usual. Upon coming home from work I find slaveR lounging in bed looking on the internet instead of doing his chores that day for my houseguest coming over later that evening. Finding the house a mess I decide to teach my slave a lesson.

There will be two parts to this series. A subsequent release - MrsClaudia and her hot co-worker - will show slaveR living out his punishment for not doing his chores. This will be the hotest cuckolding video to date that we have shoot.

Stay tunned for more hot original video releases this summer on MrsClaudia.com.

As the Holidays are fast approaching I have been thinking of new and fun things I can add to my members area to set apart MrsClaudia.com from other Femdom sites.

Audio Stories and WebTease Programs coming in December!!!

I absolutely adore Femdom Erotica. There is nothing better to open your mind and encourage your fantasies. I will be taking my top favorite Erotica and forming them into Audio Stories. A new section will be added to the Members area titled “Audio Stories”. Each story will be categorized into the various appropriate categories. Especially I will have stories on Tease and Denial, Forced Chastity, Cuckolding, Cruel FemDom and much more. Look out for this release to be posted to the Members area by December 19, 2008.

Specialized WebTease Program and Videos!

Starting December 26th there will be several WebTease Programs and Videos available to the Members of MrsClaudia.com. There will be a Teasing Instruction Video, an Interactive WebTease Program and a Cum Instruction Video/Photo SlideShow! Each of these WebTease’s will guide you through Tease and Denial Sessions and Cum Instructions! During each Video or WebTease session, you will be instructed to follow my commands and interact with Me, even after the Tease is over.

Coming soon to the WebTease area - Chastity and Tease and Denial WebTeases!!

Customized Video and Photo Images: Starting December 1, 2008 Members and the General Public may request customized Video and Images from MrsClaudia.com. Each video or Image set will be tailored to you as a slave/submissive. You may even get a chance to appear in your Custom Video with MrsClaudia*!

Check out all the new features in MrsClaudia’s Member Area today!

Next Post: Live WebCam Sessions schedule through ImLive.com!

Coming in January MrsClaudia will be offering WebCam shows/sessions multiple times per week through ImLive.com. To schedule a private one on one WebCam session visit MrsClaudia.com today! Follow the “WebCam” links to learn more!

Hope you all have a safe and Happy Holiday Season!

MrsClaudia

In my previous post “What happens when life gets in the way?” I posted some great suggestions for the Female Dominant to do in a relationship when it has lost track or fizzled. Now, I want to share my thoughts of what the male submissive in a relationship can do to help their Femdom counterpart get back on track. Since a D/s relationship is based on a agreed upon Power Exchange, it is very important for the male sub to realize that his actions, or lack thereof, have a direct effect on how his Femdom acts or reacts. I know in the romance and fictional stories, it is always the Female that seems to come in, regardless of the males feelings or desires, and forces him to surrender his will and to submit. While that is great for fantasy time and fun, it is far from the reality that encompasses a 24/7 D/s relationship.

With the daily pressures a woman faces in this day and age, it can be very easy to succumb to life’s worries and headaches. With all the external pressures a woman faces, is it any wonder why most women do not find this style of relationship appealing? Why, who in their right minds would want to add pressure and responsibility? No-one my dear!! That is why it is your first responsibility to make sure you are doing everything in your power to make your significant others life easier. Whether that is clearing the table after dinner, or doing the laundry one night. If your Wife (or girlfriend or significant other or whatever) is busy all day at the office (or at home with three kids) and then comes home and has to cook dinner, clean the dishes, do laundry, get the kids baths ready, do homework, etc and then you don’t understand why she has no interest in D/s, well I wonder why? You like the idea of being a slave to lessen the responsibilities and worries of daily life, yet you do not think your better half has those same wants and needs? You foolish man you!!!!!!!

OK, let’s get down to brass tactics! If you have already taken on more responsibility at home and have an established D/s relationship - GREAT! You can still learn how to do it better so continue reading. If you have taken on extra responsibilities around the house and have slacked off then this is for you! I know everyone runs into burnout, God knows I am right there with you! I am sharing a few things that my husband either does or has done in the past that has made my life easier or has made me feel better. That’s right, your responsibility is to make your Wife FEEL BETTER too!!

OK, here goes…………………..

1. Plan a date night. Get a sitter, make reservations and tell your Wife to be ready for a night out on the town. Tell her to go buy a new dress and some nice lingerie to wear. I do not care how big or small a woman is, nice lingerie always makes you feel better (and sexy too!) Call the restaurant ahead of time and have something special for your Wife. Maybe flowers, or her favorite wine. Then either have tickets for a comedy show or tickets to a movie. (or tickets to whatever - just get her out of the house for a nice evening!)

2. Draw her a bath with candles and wine and LEAVE HER ALONE FOR A WHILE. Do not sit on your knees waiting to be dismissed unless this is something that is a regular routine for the two of you. This will only piss her off, especially if she is in D/s burnout!

3. Make a book of coupons for things your Wife really needs. Not “I will make you orgasm 50 times before I am allowed to orgasm”. This is also not the time or place for this. Include some coupons in there giving her the afternoon off to go shopping while you watch the kids. Then make sure you have enough money in the bank account to pay for that shopping trip!

4. Get the kids ready for bed one night, baths and all. Then come into your bedroom and tell your Wife to give you 5 minutes, you have a surprise for her. Set up massage lotion or oil and light some candles in the room. Spray some nice perfume on the sheets or covers so it will smell good when she lies down. Then tell her to come into the room, and wait for her on your knees. Tell her it is her night to be pampered and adored and you expect nothing in return. (and don’t expect anything in return!) Give her a wonderful massage and then (if you are not in chastity), make sweet love to her without you cumming. If she gives you permission, great, if not - no cumming for you my dear!

5. Go grocery shopping for her. I hate grocery shopping almost as much as I hate cooking. Make sure you do not forget anything special that she eats or drinks. Ask if you are unsure!

6. Get her car detailed for her. Better yet, detail it yourself - inside and out. When you are done, leave her a love note on her seat telling her how wonderful and beautiful she is and you are the luckiest man in the world!

7. Get on your hands and knees and sit in front of her. Tell her how much you love and adore HER, not the Dominant woman you love so much. During times of burnout, it is easy for a woman to think that you love only her fierce side and not her sensitive side. A woman who feels that you only love her because she can be kinky in the bedroom is a sure fire way of losing that wonderful woman. More on that later though!!

8. I think I have said this one before but it is worth repeating: Watch a girly movie with her and by God do not BITCH about it. How many idiot man movies has she watched because she loves you? HUH?????

(note: if you will notice I have waited until the last two to bring up anything about Mistress and slave or overtly D/s actions. This is because when most women are in D/s burnout the last thing they want to do is to feel like you are pushing them to be more Dominant. Please do not do that - it is sure fire recipe for disaster!!! With that said - onto 9 and 10!)

9. Make a second coupon book with nice, fun kinky things you know your Wife likes. Not what you like, per se, but what she likes! If she adores Tease and Denial, then make a coupon giving her full control of your nether region for a week. If she likes bondage, give her a coupon and maybe a few cool pictures of stuff she might like to try. If she likes spanking, a coupon for 30 good whacks will do just fine (a new crop or paddle might be nice too!) Make it fun and make sure you have a place for those kidlets to go. A coupon book isn’t as much fun when the kids are home. It will get a little dusty!!

10. Write down all the things you use to do for your Wife before the daily grind got in the way. Give it to her and ask her to mark which things she liked you to do most. Then start doing those things immediately. Nothing works better to jump start a stagnant Dominant than a submissive doing his duty. In order for the D/s dynamic to work, she will automatically become more Dominant again. Trust me!!!

Well, that is my advice to all you men out there. In my opinion, nothing beats a good, healthy D/s relationship. But like all things, sometimes life gets in the way and it is very difficult to maintain it. If you are sitting there waiting for your already stressed out Wife to force you back into submission you have another thing coming. You will be waiting a long time. The best thing you can do is to help her get back to what you both find so wonderful. It has to begin somewhere and by being the sub and man in the relationship, there is no place better to start than with you. Good luck!!!!!

My next post will be on a very important topic that might cause a little controversy. Over the past few years, I have been contacted by several woman (and men) that have a problem reconciling this type of relationship with their belief in “God”. While I will not divulge what my particular religion is, I am a very spiritual person who believes in God and all He represents. I feel that my relationship, now that it is honest, open, loving, caring, monogamous, cherished and absolutely wonderful, is EXACTLY what my God wants for me. In my relationship I honor, adore, respect and love my husband. As he does with me. We bring each other up, in moral and emotions, which is more than I can say for most people married now a days. I will not make it about anything other than realizing that a D/s relationship, at it’s core, has NOTHING TO DO WITH KINKY ACTS. It has to do with all the other things I just explained that my husband and I now have. Traits I wish everyone every married couple had.

This is my wish for every married couple out there. Whether or not they embrace Femdom is irrelevant. I wish you love, adoration and respect. What every man and woman deserve - to be happy!!!!

Kisses,

MrsClaudia

I have been working on launching a Free Lifestyle Femdom Community that will focus on Femdom D/s relationships. The website will include Online Classes and Workshops, articles, Instructional and Educational Video, Chat Rooms, Message Board, Instant Messenger, User Contributions (gallery, video and user article submissions) and Current / Upcoming Events in the lifestyle. So my question is:

What other things would you like to see or options you would like to have in a Femdom Community?

I know there are many other wonderful BDSM communities out there, very good ones that I am a member of. So why am I starting another one? Well I want mine to be a little different. First and foremost, I want it to be solely Female Dominant / male submissive (although Male Dom / femsubs may join and contribute). I want it to be a portal where new people learning about this lifestyle can come and learn how to avoid pitfalls and be able to interact with other lifestyle people and learn. I know that BDSM support groups are sometimes riddled with politics and controversy and I will do all in my power to make sure that DOES NOT happen with this website. I want to keep the fantasy BS out of it and make it as true to life as it can be.

I would appreciate any comments or suggestions on what different areas you would like to see in a community like this. Whether it is particular classes, interactive systems, mentoring programs, local advertisements for groups around the country, etc. I want to make this the best lifestyle website I can, and your input would be greatly appreciated. I am not doing this for myself only, I am doing it for all the people out there that want a community they can learn and grow from.

Comments and suggestions can be submitted in two ways: You can either add comments directly to this post or you can email comments directly at my yahoo email: MrsClaudia2006@yahoo.com

I do hope to hear from you. Please keep all comments and suggestions directed at the community site. Any other comments or feedback not dealing directly with the lifestyle community will be redirected to the proper place in this blog!!

Thanks everyone,
MrsClaudia and her slave hubby!!

Day after day, hour after hour, life goes on as normal. It is sweet, better than anything you have ever imagined. Little things happen every once in a while, but they are minuet in the grand scheme of things. You have wonderful friends; friends who understand all about you. They know every little nuance and secret, and they welcome you and love you unconditionally. Your marriage has finally come to a place where you are happy, truly happy. The years of power struggles, lies and betrayal have ended. Personally, you are stronger than ever. You have come into your own and you are 100% confident in who you are and what you have to offer this world. Life is good!!!
I am sure you are sitting here thinking, “What the hell does this have to do with lifestyle Femdom?”, it has a lot to do with it. For some reason there are so many misconceptions on what 24/7 lifestyle Femdom is all about. People seem to think it is void of all problems and that life flows perfectly. I am constantly asked if I am ever normal, or if I am “in control” all of the time. I am also asked if my husband has an opinion on anything in our lives, or if he just bows down to everything I say and never has a say so. I have said before, many times, that this is far from the truth. While I have the final say in everything and I at all times can pull rank, life is still life. There are financial problems, family problems, career problems and marital problems.
As an example, my husband and I totally disagree on the way our children should be disciplined. He feels very strongly one way and I feel very strongly another way. This is one area we have problems in. It is easy to say that as my slave, he should go with my way, but that is easier said than done. There are also career and financial problems that add heavy stress. When our lives are turning upside down, and everyone is stressed and worried, it really disrupts the Femdom rhythm. When problems come, one after the other, a lifestyle D/s relationship is hard to keep on track. So, this brings me to my topic of this post.
How do you get your D/s lifestyle back on track when it has been disrupted for a sustained period of time. I am talking about when your marriage barely resembles Femdom anymore and you feel like you have to start from scratch. Well, there is your first task: Start from scratch. Go back to the basics. Over the past 6 months our lives have slowly succumbed to serious life stresses. There was a while there where I didn’t even get a chance to see my slave, much less have him serve me. His life became so overwhelmed that I had to put our D/s relationship somewhat on hold. Not because I wanted to, but because life circumstances forced us to. I am sure there are others out there that have had or are having this same problem.

Here are a few steps I am taking that can be used to jump start your D/s relationship!
THE TASKS BELOW ARE FOR THE DOMME. ANY CHANGE MUST FIRST START WITH THE DOMME!!

1. First, I am taking a few weeks off work to refocus on my passion. I know most people do not have that luxury and I am grateful I can do that. If I was working full time, I would schedule time each day to do what I am suggesting. I am going to start reading and interacting with my online lifestyle community again, via message boards and blogs. I am going to look around for any new lifestyle communities or websites that have started in the past few months and read everything I can get my hands on that deals with lifestyle femdom.
2. I am going to read MsRika’s book and re-read Elise Sutton and any other good lifestyle Femdom books in my library.
3. I am going to register for any upcoming seminars or workshops in my local area. If there were none in my local area, I would look online for any instructional DVDs to start practicing to or any online Femdom classes starting. I am not sure if there are any out there, but if I come across any I will post them on the blog. I am also going to be starting online classes and workshops through my lifestyle community when I officially launch it here soon. I will keep you posted.
4. I am going to make a commitment to attend at least one munch a month and one play party a month.
5. I am going to make a commitment to interact with other Femdoms on a regular basis either in person or online in weekly chat meetings.
6. I am going to have my slave start doing one new thing per week that he was previously doing, that has been slacked off on lately.
7. I am going to start journaling daily what things I am concerned with or any issues I need help with. Just as an example, I am having a hard time being consistent right now. I need to work on that.
8. I am going to actively seek out fictional stories or femdom videos to help jump start my imagination again.
9. I am going to call my mentor at least once per week and go over things I am needing help with.

10. I am going to make a list of everything I want my slave to start doing again, and make a schedule of when he will start doing those tasks again.
Bottom line is life gets in the way. Shit happens and the D/s dynamic gets weaker or even burns out for a while. Everything takes work and a D/s relationship is no exception. Just remember to start small and work your way up. Find some communities that you can share with or a class or online workshop to jump start your mind working again.
My next post will be on what tasks you need to give your sub or slave to get them back on track when life has gotten in the way. Regardless of what has happened, you can get back to where you were or get on track in the first place. This advice is good for brand new Femdom’s or for Femdom’s wanting to revitalize their floundering relationship. Hopefully I will see you around the boards and around some online classes.

 I thought I would share my views on what role the Dominant plays in the D/s relationship.

There are many roles the Dominant plays, ranging from a regular, casual play partner to a full fledged Mentoring and Training Dominant. There are also Dominants that are classified as training submissives, due to the fact that they are Dominants in Training. The role of that type of Dominant is to be submissive to her trainer or Mentor, yet still Dominant to anyone that the training submissive is topping. Wow, confusing huh??

To skip any undo confusion (I will save explanation of training subs and training dommes for my next post) I will stick to explaining what the role of a Dominant is in a relational or marriage based D/s relationship is.

First and foremost a Dominant is there to nurture, guide and protect her submissive or slave. Great responsibility lies at the feet of the Dominant and this is where it is far from fun and games. When a Dominant accepts the service and submission from her husband, fiance or boyfriend, it is very significant. The Dominant needs to realize that she is responsible for the safety and well being of her slave and he is trusting her to not do many things. The submissive is trusting her to not - 1. Take advantage of him. 2. Injure or hurt him (in a bad way) 3. Abandon him, ridicule him. 4. Emotionally, psychologically or physically abuse him or 5. Humiliate him (again in a bad way). It takes great amounts of trust and respect for a submissive to allow the Dominant to take control of his life.

This never happens instantaneously, nor smoothly. The Dominant needs to pay careful attention to her submissive’s actions in these early days to see where he is testing her. He can do this in a variety of ways, which usually includes, - 1. Forgetting to do certain tasks. 2. Doing only certain tasks assigned. 3. Misbehaving (to see what she will do). 4. Topping from the bottom and 5. Doing activities he is not allowed to do to see if the Dominant is really all knowing.

Now this is not a textbook kind of thing. Not every sub will do the things on this list, but most will. They want to see if the Dominant is really who they are portraying themselves to be. They want to know, for themselves, if they can really trust that they are completely under the control of another. If life is going well for the Dominant, she will notice right away that her sub is doing these things and rectify it immediately. Well, what should the Dominant do if she is really busy and is not noticing these things or if she is not in the mood to deal with testing?

Simple, COMMUNICATE. Sit down with your subby and have a little heart to heart. Remind him that you are in control and the tasks and duties you have given them are in place to HELP YOU! Whenever you dish out tasks that are meant to make your life easier, it is the responsibility of the sub to do those tasks to the best of his ability! This is not the time to test the Dominant, but to be even more pleasing and helpful to her. Explain to your sub that you know he is testing you, and there is no need for it. Explain to him again (it usually helps if he is hogtied and gagged on the floor at your feet!!!! ha!ha!) that his purpose is to be obedient, honest and most of all pleasing to You.

Then assess if you are slacking in your attention and follow through with him. If you are, set aside a certain amount of time each week to devote to your slave. He is a prized possession and one you need to honor and respect. Little things can be done each day to reinforce the D/s dynamic. As an example, I am extremely busy getting my counseling and Femdom Community site off the ground. I have also partnered with another local Femdom on a new group we are starting and I am so busy I can barely go to the bathroom. My poor slave has been neglected and he has done everything he can to tell me so. I heard him and I responded. This morning after he served me my coffee and did his foot worship, I made him lay there on the floor longer than normal and I teased him a little while. This little act of attention let him know that he is my priority and that I want to be with him. How much do you want to bet a little more attention like that will get him back on track in no time.!!!

It seems really complicated but when you break it down into the simplest form, it really isn’t. It is all about the love and adoration I need, and the love and respect he needs. After all, we are all still human!!

First I want to explain a little about what a collaring means to me.

There is nothing more significant to a submissive than to be “owned” by their Master or Mistress. In the world of Dominance and submission, the collar represents ownership and clearly defines the commitment between the Domme and sub. For the Domme, the collar represents her property. In a public, lifestyle friendly environment, other Dommes and subs will know that your slave is owned. Basically, your submissive has been taken off the market.

Now the private meaning behind the collar.

The collar represents commitment and devotion between the Domme and sub. The Domme, by collaring her sub, is agreeing to lead, guide, protect, love (if that kind of relationship has been established) and give purpose and meaning to the slave. The commitment from the slave is of devotion, obedience, worship, adoration and complete surrender. In my particular relationship, we are married and my husband is collared to me. In a vanilla marriage, property and day to day responsibilities are split 50/50. If one partner fails to give their 50%, trouble occurs in the marriage. In a Master/slave relationship, the expectations of the relationship are well defined. It is known that all property resorts to the Dominant. Control of the entire relationship lands at the feet of the Dominant and from there the Domme decides which tasks are best handled by which partner. There is no power struggle.

Becoming a slave does not strip the submissive of all responsibility. That is purely fiction and internet land bullshit. My slaves #1 priority is to make my life easier. He is here to serve me. I do not order him around everyday, directing his every move. How does that benefit me? All that does is cause more and more work for me. I expect him to think, act and react to everything with my best interest in mind. Oh, it might be nice to be in the “Story of O” for a weekend, but come Monday my slave is back to reality.

So, to wrap this up, It is done – I have collared my darling hubby. I did a post about 6 months ago and found out that my darling had a ways to go. It officially took me a year to break down his walls and rebuild the trust that had been shattered for so long. That rebuilding went both ways. I am no angel, I have done enough to be untrustworthy. I cried like a baby at the collaring. I never thought my relationship with my husband would ever be strong enough for a collar. I was wrong. The ultimate service and gift a submissive can give a Domme is his submission. It is a gift, freely given. It is not something I can take. I did push him to surrender but in the end it was a decision he made. It showed me how much he trusts me and adores me. He trusts me with his life and that means the world to me. It was a beautiful ceremony. I have captured some pics from the video. I hope you all enjoy them. The collar is around my darlings neck and he is out of town on a family emergency. I will take some pics of it and post it later. I also see that you can upload video. Maybe I’ll upload a little clip of the collaring. Like I said, it was beautiful. Did I mention I cried like a baby???

I have scheduled a time each week to update the blog. I have been so busy lately with the website and the collaring I haven’t had time to breath. I have been thinking about a post on “What is the role of the Domme”. I have had that question posed to me by a very smart submissive. Mine to be exact and I think it is a great question. Look for that post next week!!!

What a good question! This particular question is probably one of the most debated questions among lifestyle people.

Some people say BDSM has nothing to do with sex, while others say it is all about sex. So what do I think? I personally believe it is a combination of both. Obviously BDSM is a form of foreplay and it can be very sexual. The root to all BDSM activity is what makes you hot! I think where some people get the notion that BDSM is not about sex because of the emotional feelings that are behind BDSM.

Just the other night I was teaching two of my budding Femdoms about Tease and Denial. Now obviously Tease and Denial is all about SEX! You are denying someone the right or ability to have an orgasm until you give them permission. Even though I was doing a Tease and Denial scene, the emotional connection between myself and Madam Tiffany was incredible. It went beyond sex, and it surely went beyond just lust. I can’t even describe what it was like but I can tell you everyone in the room felt it and responded. Each one of the other people became either more submissive or more Dominant. It was truly amazing.

Once you leave the bedroom, do all BDSM activities cease? In some cases, YES! BDSM for some people are all about the sex and that is totally fine! They go about their daily lives as normal as can be. Then on Friday or Saturday night they ship off Timmy and Tammy and whip out the ridding crops, rope and canes!! Then when Timmy and Tammy come home, all returns to normal.

Then there are the people where BDSM doesn’t stop when they walk out of the bedroom. For them, the power exchange that happened in the bedroom, extends to other areas of their lives. The two practice the sexual part of BDSM and they also practice the non-sexual elements of BDSM. For those people, most would call them 24/7 D/s couples. Even in times when there is no overtly sexual things happening between two people who practice BDSM daily, there is still that element of intimacy and sexuality. If a male sub is doing the laundry he might not have a hard on right there, but he is still doing it for the power exchange and kink that will happen once he is in the bedroom. I do not know of anyone who practices non-sexual BDSM, period!!!

See that is where the “BDSM isn’t about sex” view is outside my realm of understanding. I am reading and learning about how BDSM is not about sex but I am not really sold on that theory yet!! I would love to hear from others who think that BDSM is not about sex so I can learn that viewpoint. For me, it is all about sex and it is all about emotions. They both go hand in hand and I just can not see how they don’t.

Can’t wait to hear from you all!!!!

Kisses,

MrsClaudia

I have decided to copy over some posts I have done on my google blog, Starting a Femdom Marriage and some posts from my Yahoo 360. I hope you enjoy!!!!!

It is finally here. MsRika, a lifestyle Female Dominant, who is one of the wisest women I have ever known, has released a book. I have mentioned her website several times as an invaluable resource to the new Femdom, but a book will surely be a resource every Femdom will want in her library.

This does not only go for the women in this lifestyle, but for the men too. Her special insight into the submissive males mind is extraordinary. I hope this book is read by every person, male or female, that wants to learn more about the D/s lifestyle. I have already ordered my copy and I will post again once I have read it. I am very excited!!

Just a side note here - I am in no way affiliated or profiting from MsRika’s book. She is simply a woman I admire greatly and I firmly believe she has much to offer Femdom lifestyle couples. When I was rediscovering the 24/7 D/s lifestyle, her website and advice was what I found. By far, her vast experience and real life application of the principles of a Femdom lifestyle, are what a novice Female Dominant should learn.

So, with that said, here is the link to purchase her book. http://www.lulu.com/browse/preview.php?fCID=1923165 It is available through lulu.com. I do hope you read her book and join her message board (http://msrika.com/phpBB2/). She replies personally to most messages, and always replies to direct messages posted to her. I will be taking a break from my counseling services and website, so I will be spending most of my time reading my favorite blogs and interacting on my favorite message boards. I hope to chat with my long lost friends in the next few weeks!! I have some posts that I have been meaning to write but haven’t had the time. I am glad to be back to the basics!!!!

Kisses,
MrsClaudia